LETTERS FROM THE EDITOR – An Open Letter to Tatiana Kennedy Schlossberg on Her Cancer Diagnosis: Look forward

An Open Letter to Tatiana Kennedy Schlossberg

Dear Tatiana,

I would like to preface this letter by saying there are 3 things that I know for sure. Firstly, I do not know you, nor have I ever met you personally. However, I am friends with your cousins Tim Shriver and Anthony Shriver and I have watched you since birth with your mom Caroline and your grandmother Jackie. And even though I don’t know you personally, I am fighting and praying for you daily. Secondly, there are thousands of other people praying and sending powerful well wishes to you during this difficult time. Thirdly, you and I sadly share something in common that I conquered and you will conquer as well: cancer. I understand and I wholeheartedly can relate to your fears while you are battling cancer. So, I could not is good faith stand by and watch you suffer from this horrible illness and not say anything. As a cancer survivor, I had to say something. I often wondered could anything or any good come from my own cancer battle. This letter is that good.

I had breast cancer when I was 29 about to turn 30 years old. I remember like it was yesterday. The spoiler alert is that I’m 56 years old today and cancer-free. When I was diagnosed in the summer of 1999, I remember saying “You know you’re definitely a grown-up when you’re diagnosed with cancer, and suddenly your grandmother and little John John Kennedy dies within the same year. You’re officially an adult.” 1999 was such a hard year, to say the least, filled with loss and pain, and cancer made it that much more difficult.

I had lost two people who meant a great deal to me in very different ways that year, and cancer showed up to take what was left of me. But in that tragic moment, I realized that this was not a dress rehearsal.

Tatiana, your life right now is not a dress rehearsal. Do not ever underestimate your presence in other people’s lives, just because you don’t know their names. You are affecting people you will never met and never know. Today, people are pulling for you and praying for you, and you have to tap into that strength and that positive energy. We all have got to go back to being our brother’s keepers, and you are one of the reasons many people in my circle and other circles are renewing that call. The loud call is to support our fellow man, woman, and child in a world where everything seems to be crumbling around us. We need each other even more, right now, right in this moment. That’s why I’m speaking out to you right now in this moment.

It breaks my heart to see photos of your beautiful face saddened by the ravages of cancer. It’s literally like watching a drowning child in the sea, and everyone is yelling, “Do something. She’s drowning.”

You said you are trying to be brave and hold onto the memories. I am politely saying to you that this is not the moment to look back. I had cancer, and there are no rear views with cancer. You are either looking forward or nothing at all. Please, change your outlook and look forward to memories. Do not start giving up now. Please look forward toward your life, not back at your life. Also, do not talk about your cancer. Talk to your cancer about your God. The God who helped David slay Goliath. The God who parted the Red Sea on both sides and left the ground dry, so that only the Israelites who believed and stepped into the sea were saved. Talk to your cancer about that powerful God who heals.

Also Tatiana, please do not cower to cancer, and definitely do not be afraid. This is not the time to talk about fear. Talk to your fear about your powerful God. I know this may not be your belief, and then again, it just might be. It also might be something you have heard before. If so, I am happy to be the reminder that cancer can be beaten. I beat it, and I’m compelled to reach out to you, because these are uncommon times, which require uncommon measures. I felt that I had to say something that I hope will lift you out of the water and into the boat. You are sinking in the water, because of fear. Faith is the antithesis to fear. I remember your great-grandmother Rose Kennedy, who had great faith and would often speak of her prayers for her children. We need women like Mrs. Kennedy to speak their faith over you. So, gather powerful women with strong faith around you.

It was announced that you have been told that you have less than a year expectancy on your life. Well, I don’t accept that, and you should not as well. I gained great wisdom from having cancer, the kind of wisdom you wish you never had to learn, but you learned it nonetheless. I have never shared this with anyone, because most of the time cancer sufferers feel alone in their battle. I am sharing these five things I learned that helped me during my illness.

Here are the things I learned from my bout with cancer that have stuck with me throughout my life.

1. Relax into God. Relax. God is your safe space to fall, to cry, and to lean on when you feel like you cannot continue. Relax.

2. Remove all naysayers and negative voices out of the room and out of your space. They cannot get you to your destination if they do not believe it is possible to live. Surround yourself with survivors, overcomers, and thrivers, who once had cancer and are now alive and thriving. Send naysayers out of the room.

3. You have two choices with cancer: Get busy living or get busy dying. It is just that simple. Choose wisely, because there are consequences in your choice. To get busy living means to start with your words. Only speak life with your words. Use your words wisely, because we are all creators and everything we say will appear in great form.

4. Doctors may make the diagnosis, but only God makes the prognosis. No one knows when you will leave this earth. Do not buy into someone’s death date for you. When God is ready for you, He will summons you, but not one minute earlier. If He has other plans for you here on Earth, you will be here on earth until God is ready for you. Do not allow doctors to convince you that your time is short, when no one knows the day or time you will leave this Earth. Do not give up on the life God has planned for you based on man’s predictions.

5. I’m always realistic; I expect a miracle. You should also always be realistic, but you should also always expect a miracle. This is self-explanatory, but one of the greatest quotes that I practice in life explains how to allow miracles to work. The quote is by Quincy Jones. It says: “Leave space for God to walk through the room.” After you have gotten your family’s, friends’, and doctors’ opinions about your cancer, do not forget to ask God for his opinion. Step back and leave space for God to enter the room.

There is a song that always makes me cry, because it reminds me of my health issues now and when I had cancer. But after seeing your announcement, I believe this song was handcrafted for you. The title of the song is “Always On Time”. I have attached a link to the song and the video below. It is powerful beyond belief and better than any medicine I have ever taken.

Tatiana, do not fight this battle alone, and more importantly, do not cower to cancer. You are not alone. Do not listen to your fear. Talk back to your fear, and tell it about your God. You really only have two choices: Get busy living or get busy dying. You cannot do both. Right now, in this moment, you must get busy living. Now that the doctors have given their diagnosis and have left the room, let God enter the room. Then start planning for graduations and weddings and all the beautiful moments ahead of you. There is no time for looking back with so much of life ahead of you.

You are in my prayers, daily, and will continue to be.

Kind regards,

Wendy Thompson

The Editor-in-Chief and A Fellow Cancer Survivor

Photo by Wendy Thompson (DC Spotlight Newspaper)